How to Politely Ask “Who Is This” Over Text

Have you ever received a text message and had no idea who it was from? It happens to everyone at some point.

Figuring out how to ask “Who is this?” without being rude can be tricky. This article lists 10 polite ways to ask for someone’s identity over text, ensuring you maintain good manners while getting the information you need.

10 Polite Ways to Ask “Who Is This” Over Text

Here are ten considerate alternatives to directly asking “Who is this?” when you receive a text from an unknown number.

  1. May I know who’s texting, please?
  2. Sorry, I don’t have this number saved. Who is this?
  3. Excuse me, can you help me identify who I’m speaking with?
  4. I seem to have missed saving your number, who might this be?
  5. Pardon my confusion, but who am I exchanging messages with?
  6. Could you please remind me how we know each other?
  7. Apologies, but your number isn’t familiar. May I ask who’s texting?
  8. Hi there, I realized I don’t recognize this number. Who is this, please?
  9. I’m having trouble placing this number. Could you tell me who this is?
  10. Would you mind sharing your name? I don’t seem to have your number saved.

1. May I know who’s texting, please?

This alternative is polite and straightforward, with a formal tone that makes it suitable for virtually any situation. It implies courtesy by including “please” and doesn’t assume that the recipient should know who is texting.

This phrase is especially useful in professional contexts or when you’re unsure if the sender might be a colleague or a contact whose number you should have saved. It strikes a balance between being polite and seeking necessary information without appearing rude.

Examples:

May I know who's texting, please?
May I know who's texting, please?

2. Sorry, I don’t have this number saved. Who is this?

This alternative conveys a sense of apology for not recognizing the number, adding a personal touch that can make the question seem less abrupt. It’s informal yet polite, making it a good choice for texts from unknown numbers that might be from personal contacts.

We recommend using this phrase when you suspect the sender may be a friend, family member, or acquaintance whose number you’ve accidentally not saved or lost. It’s candid but maintains a friendly and approachable tone.

Examples:

Sorry, I don't have this number saved. Who is this?
Sorry, I don't have this number saved. Who is this?

3. Excuse me, can you help me identify who I’m speaking with?

This question is formal and expresses a request for information in a courteous manner. Including “Excuse me” at the beginning signals respect and patience, valuable in both personal and professional exchanges.

It’s particularly suited for situations where maintaining a high level of formality is important, such as in communications with potential employers or clients. The phrasing gently asks for the sender’s identity without implying that they’ve made a mistake by texting you.

Examples:

Excuse me, can you help me identify who I'm speaking with?
Excuse me, can you help me identify who I'm speaking with?

4. I seem to have missed saving your number, who might this be?

This version offers a polite apology and suggests the possibility that the oversight is on your part, which can reduce any potential awkwardness for the sender. The language is slightly informal, making it perfect for casual conversations.

Use this when you believe the sender is someone you’ve previously met or communicated with but forgot to save their number. It adds a touch of humility and openness to re-establishing the connection without making the sender feel unimportant.

Examples:

I seem to have missed saving your number, who might this be?
I seem to have missed saving your number, who might this be?

5. Pardon my confusion, but who am I exchanging messages with?

This inquiry is both formal and polite, and it subtly expresses confusion, which can make the sender more inclined to provide their identity without feeling accused. It’s versatile for use in both personal and professional settings.

Recommended when dealing with potentially sensitive situations where you need to ensure the conversation remains respectful. It’s especially considerate when you suspect the text might have been sent by someone significant or professional whose number you did not save.

Examples:

Pardon my confusion, but who am I exchanging messages with?
Pardon my confusion, but who am I exchanging messages with?

6. Could you please remind me how we know each other?

This request is gentle and assumes prior acquaintance, which can make the sender more comfortable in identifying themselves. The polite and somewhat informal tone makes it suitable for messages that seem familiar yet unclear.

We recommend this for when you receive messages that reference past interactions or shared experiences, but you can’t place the sender. It’s a polite nudge for context that helps jog your memory without making the other person feel forgotten.

Examples:

Could you please remind me how we know each other?
Could you please remind me how we know each other?

7. Apologies, but your number isn’t familiar. May I ask who’s texting?

This phrasing is respectful and straightforward, offering an apology upfront which can mitigate any potential offense taken by the sender. The formal yet polite tone is great for unknown numbers that might be professional contacts.

This alternative is better suited when you’re concerned about the impression you make on the sender, such as in professional scenarios or when dealing with someone you might have met in a formal setting. It communicates respect and a willingness to engage despite the oversight.

Examples:

Apologies, but your number isn't familiar. May I ask who's texting?
Apologies, but your number isn't familiar. May I ask who's texting?

8. Hi there, I realized I don’t recognize this number. Who is this, please?

This greeting is casual and friendly, coupled with a polite request for the sender’s identity. It’s flexible enough for use with both new and possibly familiar contacts. This approach immediately establishes a warm tone.

It’s particularly useful in situations where you want to keep the conversation light and open, such as when responding to texts that could be from new friends, social connections, or acquaintances you met in a casual setting.

Examples:

Hi there, I realized I don't recognize this number. Who is this, please?
Hi there, I realized I don't recognize this number. Who is this, please?

9. I’m having trouble placing this number. Could you tell me who this is?

This phrase suggests difficulty in recognition without directly blaming the sender, making it a gentle approach. The tone is informal yet polite, fitting for messages from people you’ve maybe interacted with in less formal contexts.

Opt for this when you wish to convey a genuine difficulty in associating the number with a name or face, often after meetings or events where many new contacts are made. It signals your openness to reconnect without assuming familiarity.

Examples:

I'm having trouble placing this number. Could you tell me who this is?
I'm having trouble placing this number. Could you tell me who this is?

10. Would you mind sharing your name? I don’t seem to have your number saved.

This question is direct yet sufficiently polite for virtually any context. It explicitly asks for the sender’s name while acknowledging the oversight of not having the number saved.

This alternative fits situations where clarity is essential, such as receiving important information or an invitation. It conveys a readiness to update your contact list respectfully and ensure future communications are more personalized.

Examples:

Would you mind sharing your name? I don't seem to have your number saved.
Would you mind sharing your name? I don't seem to have your number saved.

Final Thoughts

Asking “Who is this?” over text doesn’t have to be awkward or rude. By choosing one of the ten polite ways listed, you can make sure you’re always respectful in your communication. Each option gives you a way to find out who you’re talking to without making a bad impression.

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